It has taken me this long to believe in the possible. I wanted to believe that I could believe in the possible, but I wasn’t there.
Now I am.
Today I step forward on a bridge across a chasm. Today I let go of the trapeze and trust that another will swing to me. It may seem implausible to you. You may think that with the things I have done in this world—how could she not believe? All along I have tried to believe; I have acted on “faith,” done my best, and have been very lucky.
I blindly stepped off the cliff many, many times. I fell many, many times, and along the way I learned something about endurance, about preparedness, about picking myself up. Today I stand in belief and readiness. Really, believe me, I did not believe before today. I hoped, but did not believe.
It matters that today I realistically take control and consider my own needs, the needs of my family; my abilities, and desire for a more positive future, and commit an act of bravery. You, who are not me, will find it difficult to understand the great significance. A few months ago, I wasn’t ready. A few months ago I would have leapt off of the cliff and died against the rocks, again.
Today, I believe. I believe enough to not set my fear aside but see through it, and act with determination and smarts. There were years when I held a knife to my own throat. (I dropped the knife). There were months that I never left my bed. (I’m an early-riser). There were days and days of black pages. (The pages are artfully drawn).
I do not have to accept a future of despair.
2 thoughts on ““It is not in the stars to hold our destiny but in ourselves.” ― William Shakespeare”
I have a very big interview tomorrow, incorporating my art and my heart. I read Claire’s words of wisdom, comfort and passion. I printed it out, and before I go into their office, I will read it aloud in the lobby. I am a Cajun from New Iberia and know the words that Claire writes resonate with me in San Francisco. It is good to know that the art we breathed in Louisiana is flowing and it gives me hope and a light to look upon. Bless you my poet sister. I am your brother far away and I thank you for anointing me with your words. Your words are sacred, universal and speak to our core, our life, and our breath. Bless you Claire.
“I do not have to accept a future of despair.”
That was mantra today and I nailed my interview. Thank you for your heart. You were with me today and I thank you for your verbal wisdom. Peace to you. Clay in San Francisco.
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