I wash my hands. I choose the heaviest apple. I turn on the faucet and cup the apple in both of my hands. I turn the apple over and over under the running water. The apple is firm and smooth. I find pleasure in washing the apple. The whoosh of the water calms me. I twist the knobs tightly and dry the apple with a clean dishtowel. The first bite is crisp, sharply sweet. I like the way my teeth snap through the skin and sink into the juicy flesh. It has been this way every time I have eaten an apple. I suck another bite— this one is a greater bite than the first. My whole mouth is employed in chewing. I swish the pieces around in my mouth with my tongue. My jaw is tired from crushing the fruit but I persist. I finish it quickly and grab another. The water runs through my fingers. My hands shape themselves around the fruit again, again.
The third passage–
RETREAT WRITINGS, JULY 2011